Associated levels of dissociation
First step, my mind runs away to a distant location
Leaving my body in confusion and my spirit in separation
Thinking about things that aren’t in the present
Gifting me gaps in memory that can leave it unpleasant
I walk one foot in front the other
Praying I don’t forget how to step
Bathing in silence while people soap assumptions down my neck
It’s hard to explain when it’s a sometimish occurrence
A hug for me is a reality check and gives me reassurance
As I lose touch with reality
And fall into this void abnormality
A world of my own I could say
Yet I feel disconnected from the people who play
In what some would say is the sunken place
Staring up at the light as tears waterfall down my face
Expression that makes me feel alive at times
You may think I’m sad but internally I’m glad to find an escape
Running away from the veil in my mental scape
Releasing the chains a little so my existence doesn’t feel so fake
Still drawing blueprints for how to transform this to a superpower
From the observational deck I lose track of all the hours
Skipping through years, I time travel
So while I’m here in this moment let me unravel
And leave a memory of who I am while I still remember
Those who get it, I love you
Those who don’t, I don’t judge you
I’ve been judged and rushed into states of being I had no places of being
By people who didn’t understand my states of being
Then projected onto myself as those being the reasons
Then I push myself farther from the light within
Beating myself up over countless sins
Because I wasn’t how we imagined me to be
Charting my heart across the seven seas
I step on higher planes to heighten my horizons
Growing past the stars, I dap up my brother Orion
And soar to the Great Beyond.
I’m not even lying.
~ Rose
Comentarios