Nothing in this life is easy, and death surely isn’t one of them. When we practice anything, we gain experience, learn, and become more efficient. Exposure to death in that regard has become very desensitized via the media. Whether reading about it, seeing it on the news, or watching it on film, overtime we’ve become numb to what it means for one to cease existing in the present. Does this also reflect acceptance? In a way, I guess you could say so. That numbness ceases when death takes the form of a losing a loved one.
There’s people in this life you come into contact to at different stages. Your family when you’re born (in most cases), your friends that you bond with, significant others, and strangers and passerby’s that are only there for a limited moment(s). We never know when will be the last interaction. Sometimes you think you’d never see someone again, and years later you guys are close friends. Then there’s people you think you’d spent forever with, only for them to be a distant memory of what once was. We can have feelings and intuitions, but we never know until we know, you know?
I’ve lost family from a young age and I didn’t know how to process that. From breaking down through middle school, high school, college, and adulthood over the same person turned multiple people, death and I have an interesting relationship. I’ve ran from relationships because of the fear of forming attachments only for them to dissolve through the passage of time. “What good are good memories if they leave a sense of longing,” is what I thought for a very long time. So I created space to avoid that feeling. That gut-wrenching shudder of the stark reality that nothing in this life is promised.
They say the more you fear something, the more you attract and run into it. Many things in this life we can’t escape, and death is one of them. This exists in multiple spectrums of course. Life is bittersweet. Lovely moments as well as ones full of sadness and melancholy. This is only natural and we’re bound to this experience. But we get to choose how we ride these waves. The sweeter it is, the more bitter it can be. But life goes on and eventually we will see one or the other.
I don’t know how to feel currently watching people I love die in front of me. I just breathe, shed my tears, and remind myself of how much they love me. I see my family cry & sob and it hurts me. But in death we find life and love, shout out to the big man above we.
Words are only sign posts and many times I feel limited in expression. This is probably why I like poetry because leaving you with an image impression gives you an idea of the unsayable. “I love you” is not something I take likely. My energy I put into anything and anyone is out of love. Limited time here in this experience of consciousness, and while I’m here I’ll leave images for you. I love you.
Yours Truly,
Noble🌹
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